A Mere Possibility Turned Reality

I heard about families who contracted the virus but only on the news. As far as I knew, no one closely embedded in my life had been infected and I thought it would stay that way. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be affected by the unimaginable, let alone my entire family. 

We found out in April. First Dad, then Mom, Santiago, and me. I never really considered looking back before, I was just focused on getting better and trying to put all this behind me. Now that I am, all it does is just give me a pounding headache. I realized the changes I went through after the whole fiasco, and I wanted to share my story with others to prevent more cases. 

By the time we realized that Dad had the obvious symptoms and decided to get tested, there was a testing shortage. All I could think at the time was, just our luck. He ended up going to a drive-in testing site and the results came back the next day. The entire day that we waited for the results was agony. Still, the least wanted news came to us. He tested positive and was the first out of my entire family. The testing process was a lot easier for Santiago and me since we already had a confirmed family member. Mom works as a Medical Interpreter at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital so she was guaranteed a test at Stanford Hospital as an employee. 

After testing positive, all I remember is feeling lost and scared. Actually, more lost than scared. I didn’t know what to expect, there’s no blueprint on how to deal with being a part of a global pandemic. The doctors and nurses flooded us with calls to inquire us about the symptoms, attempting to learn more information about the virus. At the time, not much information was known about the coronavirus at the time, and my family felt helpless and confused. 

Some of the most obvious symptoms that we had were extreme stomach pain, fatigue, lack of appetite, trouble breathing, diarrhea, brain confusion, and a cough. It’s really hard living with COVID, especially when your whole family has it. I was tired all the time, and I never had the energy to do anything that I liked anymore. I couldn’t even eat the foods I used to like, since all of my sense of taste was gone. Even simple activities like walking to the mailbox would leave me breathless and tired. 

As I was quarantined from the rest of the world, I took up a few new hobbies. I started to paint and draw to distract myself from my own negative thoughts. Even though painting shouldn't be a strenuous activity, the virus left me feeling tired just from walking around in my room to get the paints. I still kept being hopeful, and myself occupied, in hopes of pushing through the difficult times. 

When you test positive it's easy to consider it as just a simple statistic, but it feels different when you’re flooded with calls from doctors and nurses. Like I said before, I never thought that I would be at the other end of the pandemic, but testing positive really put things into perspective for me. It was a wake-up call. I saw first-hand how serious and widespread this virus is. For a while, we avoided the news because watching and reading about the negatives just instilled more fear and made us jump to conclusions. 

Patience. It’s the only thing I felt during the entire process and it helped me get through the roughest parts of the virus. I had to be patient with myself through the different stages; I wouldn’t be free of any lingering symptoms if I went into it straight-on. 

I can say with confidence that I’m not the same person I was before the virus. I’m more cautious when I go out and I always carry hand sanitizer with me; a mask is a necessity. I don't open doors with my hands but instead, push them open with my elbow or side of my body. When I come home the first thing I do is wash my hands and change my clothes to ensure anything that could have come in contact with the virus is off of me.

To anyone who contracts the virus or knows someone who has, it’s important to stay hopeful and maintain a positive attitude. Having a strong mindset plays a big role in getting through the difficult stages of the virus. The entire family is going to have to work as a team during this situation. 

I learned a lesson. A different perspective. After Dad was hospitalized, I saw how hardworking front-line workers are and how they persevere with determination no matter how rigorous a task may be. I gained greater respect and deeper empathy for those in the medical field. Do your part to help your community. I became more open to sharing my experience COVID-19 in order to help those who are just as confused as I was. My family and I made the decision to be a part of a Stanford immunity study to help further research regarding our antibody levels every three months in hopes of giving back to our community. 

The only way to avoid contracting this virus is to simply be cautious. Don’t be rash, you can meet people later and do normal activities under much better circumstances. Be respectful and responsible. Wear a mask. Don’t degrade it to a simple recommendation. It’s the best thing that we as individuals can do to fight in our communities. Actions speak louder than words and wearing a mask speaks volumes.
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​​Story courtesy of Natalia Ruspini and the Ruspini family.